Down And Dirty Hairball

So, I go out for a friendly evening on the town. I see people I know, people I don't know and people I think I know because I’ve heard gossip about them! I enjoy being out. Then, I return to my quiet domicile.

By this time, my head is spinning like a weathervane. I mean, I’m into hairballs, but I’m not what you’d call catty. All night it was: "How was that woman able to have an affair right in the middle of town, destroying her marriage and her children's sanity? Or, is it that he was the mean one as they say?" How would we ever really know, huh? Is gossip the unnamed addiction of the masses?

On and on it goes! Do we need to talk behind each other’s backs because we don’t have the courage to talk to each other honestly? Or is it that we don’t want to face our own fears, so that’s why we bitch about other people?

And, the stories are so confusing because each corner of the plaza has it's own beehive with a slightly different buzz. I try to stay out of it, but sometimes, especially when I’m tired, I can't help but wonder what people are thinking, not just about those other people, but about me!

I mean, I don’t want what you think of me to matter, but on the other hand, its nice to at least feel a sense of belonging. I have a good friend who always tells me “Don’t live your life based on what other people think!” And, she’s right of course. But still, I feel sad tonight wondering about these estranged people, how they got where they are, and how they may be a bit like me! It’s weird to have complete strangers talking and thinking about your personal life. I feel like a voyeur and exposed all at once.

“They’re obviously in some pain,” I muse. “Why didn't they talk to each other in the first place and clear up this entire hairball before it got to the divorce court? What's up with that? Why can’t they, why can’t I, learn to communicate?”

Do people really live under the same roof, practically use the potty together, become close friends and somehow end up hating each other? Am I right? That’s just wrong!

Okay, you’re probably thinking (inquiring minds want to know): "bipolar disorder;" "shit happens; " or "stuff comes up.” But, my question is: "What the heck is a relationship anyway?" Are we so into the perfect Hollywood romance that we won’t take the risk of ever really knowing each other?"

We think we don't like someone; they're too this or too that. But have we done any laps in their high heels or Birkenstocks? Nuff said.